Mother — An Update
A follow-up interview with Lauren, first published in November 2022.
In November 2022, I published a short audio interview with Lauren, a mother in country NSW who had made the decision not to vaccinate her son. I called that piece “Mother” because that’s what I heard in her voice — soft femininity and hard resolve. If you haven’t listened to it yet, I’d encourage you to do so before reading what follows. It’s less than ten minutes and it will give you the full picture of where Lauren was at the start of this journey.
Three and a half years have passed since that conversation. Her son was a toddler then. He’s seven now, homeschooled, thriving, and surrounded by a community that didn’t exist when Lauren first moved to her area knowing not a soul. What started as a small group of about ten like-minded mums has grown into something closer to a hundred families. That growth alone tells you something important about the direction things are moving in.
I sent Lauren fifteen questions and asked her to answer them in her own words. What came back is honest, practical, and generous — exactly what you’d hope for from a mother who has walked this path and wants to make it easier for those coming behind her. Whether you’re a parent weighing up this decision right now or simply curious about what this life actually looks like on the ground, I think you’ll find something valuable here.
With thanks to Lauren.
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1. For readers who didn’t hear the original 2022 interview, can you introduce yourself — who you are, where you’re based, and how you came to the decision not to vaccinate your son?
My name is Lauren I live in Country NSW, I have a son who is 7 and is unvaccinated. I chose not to vaccinate after doing in depth research and educating myself on the science and looking at my own biology (MTHFR etc) and its reactions to my childhood vaccines.
2. Your son was around four when we last spoke and he’s now school age. Can you paint a picture of what your day-to-day life looks like now compared to those early toddler years?
We homeschool, so each day is different, filled with structured and unstructured learning, either by himself or with his peers. He participates and sees a lot of normal life, like shopping, appointments, house work etc and plays with friends many days.
3. Choosing this path for your child can come at real personal cost — strained relationships, lost friendships, family tension. Without going into anything you’re not comfortable sharing, what have been the biggest personal sacrifices, and have any of those situations shifted over time?
I could not do this life without support from my family and friends, we’ve come together as a community to raise our children as a collective and I think it’s beautiful. I have friends who send their kids to school, I have friends who choose vaccinations and I have like-minded friends. As he’s grown it’s become more my decision to associate mostly with people with similar values on children and how to raise them versus vaccinations status.
4. Back in 2022 you talked about how family members reacted to your decision. Has your family’s view softened, hardened, or stayed about the same as your son has grown up healthy?
My family continues to be very supportive, and I of them and their decisions.
5. How has your relationship with the healthcare system evolved as your son has gotten older? Finding a supportive GP was a big theme last time — what’s changed, what new challenges have come up, and what’s worked well?
I have no trouble with the healthcare system currently, we have a supportive GP who we use for blood work and long term care and whom knows we work with a naturopath and homeopath mostly with additional care from osteopathy, wholistic dentistry/myofunctional support, chiropractor and kinesiology etc. We have yet to need emergency service from anything other than an eye injury that happened in a park with a bit of bark in the eye. They asked his status, I was honest and it wasn’t mentioned again.
6. What schooling path have you chosen for your son, and what led you to that decision? How is he going — socially, academically, and in terms of his general confidence and wellbeing?
We homeschool. We had tried school in Kindy but, ironically, I was unhappy with the social aspects of this experience. Everyone speaks of homeschool kids being not well socialised but my son has a core group of friends that he sees multiple times a week, he participates in multiple sports and mixes with kids from schools and plays well with children of all ages. School made him depressed and significantly lowered his self worth, in kindergarten, in the space of a few weeks. The adults (other parents and teachers) were shocking at dealing with the children’s interactions and managing poor influence on young minds and ultimately once I removed him from the system and brought him back to our co-op group he was much happier and thrives academically, even working above grade level in most subjects.
7. Your son’s health and energy were something people really responded to in the original interview. How has his health tracked as he’s grown, and do the people around you — teachers, other parents, strangers — ever notice or comment on anything?
My son is dealing with some allergies that have arisen (mostly inherited from me) as he’s aged. Other than that he has wonderful health, energy and vibrancy and people often comment on how clear his eyes are and how tall and strong he is.
8. The pandemic changed the public conversation about vaccines enormously. From where you sit, as a mum who was already on this path before COVID, how has the landscape shifted for parents like you?
I chose to use COVID to inform as many parents as I could on the actual science behind the vaccines and headed up my local community group and facilitated get togethers and community connections.
Since covid, everyone is aware of non-vaxxers and it’s a less taboo, underground topic or group of people. Covid really forced people to learn to be ok with people who choose to live outside of the normal system because ultimately everyone knew someone they loved previously who chose not to vaccinate. Some chose to expel those people from their lives but ultimately found that there were co-workers, their local barista, extended family or friends that had made those decisions and they can’t avoid us or expel all of us. It was in the end I think a great moment for awareness and bringing these important conversations to the forefront without resistance.
9. In 2022 you were part of a small group of like-minded mums. How has your community evolved since then, and for a parent who’s just had a baby and feels completely isolated in this decision, what practical advice would you give them about finding their people?
We ended up having close to 100 families in our local area join our group, it got so big that many mini factions were spawned from the original group and we started acting like a regular society where you had friends based on connections rather than just because you both happened not to vaccinate.
It’s so easy to use the internet today to find like-minded people. I highly recommend homeschool groups, health food stores, faith based communities and local parks during school hours. You’ll be surprised who you run into. The biggest tip I give people is to just be upfront when chatting with these people. Work into the conversations that you don’t vaccinate like it’s not a big deal and that it’s a regular choice (good training for them to hear it presented this way) and their character will reveal themselves as either like-minded, or supportive or not for you. Some of the easiest conversations are to talk about day-care or preschool and if they are sending their kids, they have to be vaccinated to attend so you know where they stand without asking directly.
10. No Jab No Play is still the law in NSW. For parents with toddlers and preschool-age kids right now, has anything changed in how families navigate that, or is it the same battle you faced?
It’s the same. We use private care options like other mums or babysitters. It has recently been proposed in parliament to review so fingers crossed.
11. What’s been harder than you expected on this journey, and what’s been easier or more rewarding than you anticipated?
It’s been so easy to find a like-minded community. I moved to this area in 2018 and I knew not a soul and within a few years I have mostly like-minded friends and feel an integral part of the community. I think you have to be proactive in this though. You can’t sit in your house and speak to no-one and expect this result.
12. If a close friend came to you pregnant and genuinely undecided about whether to vaccinate her baby, what would you say to her? Not the research or the politics — just woman to woman, what would you want her to know?
Love this question.
There is risk in everything you do. There’s risk in vaccinating and risk in not, you have to be ok with what the consequences of your choices are. Which risk could you live with if the worst was to happen? For me I would be ok to take that risk with mother nature and modern health care. I would never forgive myself if I knowingly injected something foreign and unnecessary into my child and something potentially catastrophic happened.
(Unknowingly is different just FYI)
13. For a parent who’s starting to question the schedule but doesn’t know where to begin looking for information, where would you point them? How do you sort through what’s out there?
Start with The AVN (Australian Vaccination Risks Network). Meryl Dorey the founder has been doing this for over 20 years and they have an incredibly well informed team with inspiring speakers like Aneeta Hafmeister. That’s for Australia based info. For true informed consent The Highwire with Del Bigtree online weekly TV show is the ultimate go-to. Science based, action oriented. Real informed consent. Their not-for-profit ICAN is doing amazing work in American legislation and worldwide acknowledgement. There is a lot of sensational rubbish out there so watch out.
14. Is there anything about the reality of raising an unvaccinated child that never gets talked about — something that would surprise people, whether it’s a challenge or a joy?
It is hard to realise you are wholly responsible for this little being, it can be anxiety producing. Most abdicate responsibility to doctors so if anything goes wrong it’s not their fault they were just doing “what they were told”. For us, it’s on us only. But with the community support and alternative practitioners you can definitely feel well supported in your decisions. This goes from vaccines, to food choices, TV time, sleep hygiene and beyond. When you are responsible and aware you must take action. The buck stops with you.
15. What are you focused on right now — in terms of your son’s next chapter, your own life, and any work or advocacy you’re involved in?
I’m focused on branching out my educational programs for women and girls and raising a healthy and happy son.
Awesome! We homeschooled (along with some Classical Conversations) our four children all the way thru, before sending them to college (our local community college) when they turned 16, so they could have their two-year degrees by the time others were graduating HS. Beyond the normal "stuff," our kids learned logic, real history, politics, and critical thinking. Oh, and of course, they learned about natural health - all aspects, including vaccines. We made sure they knew what to expect in college - so that nothing they heard was a surprise. (I was writing about this very topic for my next post)
What I am seeing today, Lauren, is a literal explosion of what I call "The Crunchy Mom" movement - mothers doing just what you and your group are doing. Thanks for these kinds of interviews, Unbekoming. They are helpful because they show people that yes, it can be done! And thank you for being willing to be interviewed, Lauren.
An interesting read and I hope that she and her son, and her community continue to thrive. We need to have a back-to-nature movement...